I am still alive...

Obviously I didn't die after using that epilator that I mentioned. The overall verdict? It hurts like hell. But the overall results are pretty good. If you're not a fan of excrutiatingly painful waxing, but love to have silky smooth legs, then epilation is probably a good option. However, if you're not exactly the masochist who enjoys getting their hair tweezed out one by one, then maybe you should stick to waxing which strikes a huge pile of agony, but only for a few seconds. But I think I'll start to epilate from now on... I like the idea of having having stubble-free legs for longer.

However, the reason why I chose the title of this post has little to do with my strange choice of hair removal. I have been thinking about the past... more often that usual and I think it has something to do with what my mother said during our last conversation two weeks ago. She has given me permission and encouraged me to get married, here in the UK. Without me even asking.

That was very unlike her. She used to be the kind of person who wouldn't even let me think about marriage before completing my studies. The type of person who thinks education is, above all, the most important thing in the world and no man is allowed to come in between me and my studies. This probably has something to do with her own experience, because she never got to pursue a degree after marrying my father. And she has always given me the same advice every year, finish your studies, get a job, save enough money and then you can have a wedding. So why does she want me to tie the knot now?

This could only mean one thing: someone has been talking to her about me behind my back, giving her the reason to tell me to get married before anything bad happens.

Well, suppose the above is true, I'm just surprised that anyone would care so much about my personal life, and yet they pay no attention at all to the real problems I have here. I have been having trouble with my finances since my first year in uni (because when I started, I had no idea how to organise my money at all)... but I have never requested anyone to send me any money from home, not even from my mum. I have always, in one way or another, managed. I still passed my modules and I still paid my rent and my bills on time. The only debt I have now are my credit card loans, which I am absolutely sure will be cleared by September.

I despise people who think they know what's best for me, when it's only going to get in the way between me and my goals in life. Just because I am a young woman who's only just come out into the real world, it doesn't mean that I am not capable of taking care of myself. And say I did want to get married this year, how on earth would I be able to afford it? A simple declaration isn't enough. If I'm going to marry my boyfriend, I want it to be a big wedding... with a camel ride. I know I've mentioned having simple nikahs before to my exes, but Jay is the best... so he will have the best. Other people can't tell me what I should or shouldn't have on my wedding day... unless they don't want me to be happy.

Sometimes I wonder when people would stop meddling with my life. What difference does it make if my choice of study courses, my fashion sense, my lovelife, my social life and my aspirations have no parallel to theirs? Wouldn't it be more annoying if I were to think and feel the same way they do all the time? I for one, prefer variety and choice. It's a part of living.

Moving and breathing isn't enough to prove that you're alive. It's only called living if you have a choice; because life is supposed to be unpredictable.